When does a Fox become a Cougar?

Okay, so lets say you're @ 40-50something, single for whatever reason and are tired of sitting at home, perusing the "Seniors Love U" match site or spending the evenings with your other single friends, complaining about the lack of anything to do at night that would be considered "respectable" for a woman our age. You may (or may not) have a fulfilling career, but you always make sure your days are filled with activities, such as going to the gym, taking a Zumba class or immersing yourself in the beauty and strength of Yoga. Activities that make you feel good about yourself.

And then suddenly, its night time. You find yourself repeating "single woman" behavior almost like a robot: cook dinner. Pour a glass of wine. Set a place for yourself at the coffee table and turn on the evening news. Sometimes, on rare occasions, you pull out all the photo albums you've collected, or the diaries you meticulously wrote in daily (like me...I always had to go to the extreme), and spend the evening reminiscing about the days when you and your friends would gather at your house, put on  Purple Rain and dress to kill. Your hair was big. Leather skirt just short enough to be acceptable. Makeup flawless. You'd walk into a club and heads would turn. It was such a major rush.

So, what happened? You know you still look good--great skin, not too many wrinkles, good body...Of course you don't look like you did in those pictures, but who does? You make your mind up. Your decision is firm. You are going to call your friends and insist on a 'girls night out'. And then, that word flashes across your mind like a red neon light...Cougar. You try to dismiss it--you're not going out to pick up young drunk boys who haven't figured out yet that older women may be more experienced, but why would we waste it on a jackass? You know that going out that night is just was it is. Having fun. Doing something different. Stop from feeling old before your time. But what about the patrons of the bar...will they see you as a Cougar?

The Urban Dictionary describes Cougars as " an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The Cougar can be anyone from an over surgically altered 'wind tunnel victim' to an absolutely sad and bloated version of her former self". In other words, she got dressed and put on her makeup without her glasses.

You hem and haw, not wanting to spend yet another boring night alone, yet afraid of embarrassing yourself by pretending to be who you aren't.

Next time, when you find yourself in this predicament, call me. My leather skirt still fits and thank God for false eyelashes! And guys? GGGGRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!