From your very first " I like John. Circle 'yes' or 'no' " note passed to you in 6th grade math class to " I believe the possibilities are endless with you...I will carry your spirit and energy with me at all times. I love you." written in a card to you from the first man you fell in love with , love letters are one of the most precious gifts a woman can receive from her beloved. Well, they are to me, anyway. I think they're even better than jewelry, but don't you dare tell that to anyone, especially a guy!
Call me sentimental, call me crazy (you wouldn't be the first!), but I've saved just about every letter, every card--including the ones that come with flowers--that I've received. In fact, I've saved every memento, no matter what it is, that will remind me of the guy I swore I loved more than life itself (even Josh's smashed drum sticks signed with "Kimmie, Love Forever, Josh) and strangely, I still love them, with the warmth of the memories they gave me. The assorted cards, notes, and odd collections of stuff are keepsakes of a life well lived, even if it might not be as conventional as I had once dreamed of when I was a little girl, they are MINE and I don't regret a minute.
What started all this semi-staggered walk down memory lane was packing up my house for a recent move (hence the lack of blogs). I was going through stuff I'd been carting around since I was a kid, trying to eliminate the excess stuff that I really didn't need anymore: out of date text books from college, papers that were worthless now--stuff like that. I was so surrounded by crap that I didn't even pay attention to the next box I pulled down from my closet shelf. I ripped it open and there it was...a treasure-trove of my most favorite things. My packing forgotten, I spent the rest of the day carefully unfolding the now yellowing papers, savoring every word and traveling back to times I hadn't realized I'd forgotten.
The first note was written by my first boyfriend; a junior in High School who drove a really cool white sports car. He used to pick me up everyday from the private Catholic High School I attended, standing by the drivers' door in a tight t-shirt and painted on jeans; very John Travolta a la Saturday Night Fever. When I think back on it, he really had a fabulous body, but I was a bit too young and...well...naive to appreciate it. Maybe because his arrival always had the girls in my class sighing and 'ohmygodhe'ssocute'-ing that most of the time, I knew he was there before I even saw him. He also used a particular shampoo that had a very strong, very distinct scent that would proceed his arrival. Anyway, we had been Going Out (officially Going Out-he gave me a tiny diamond pendant) for a few months when my family took what was supposed to be a two week vacation to visit relatives in Florida. But the trip lasted a bit longer because my parents wanted to do something really impulsive and wild, so they bought a house in Vero Beach and suddenly we were moving from Connecticut to the Sunshine State--in two months. When I finally returned home, in Greenwich, there was an envelope stuck between the gap of the molding of the old front door. It was from him, my boyfriend:.
"Dear Kim,
Welcome home, sweetheart! I missed you so much, you probably wouldn't believe me, but its true...I guess its true when they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' because its happening to me. If I can't kiss you soon, I'll go bonkers!"
There's more, but you get the idea. He even wrote in tiny little letters at the bottom of the page "P.S. I love you". I mean, c'mon, what 14 yr old girl wouldn't be a little ga-ga knowing that her boyfriend not only declared his love, but if he didn't kiss her soon this guy would "go bonkers"? I hated leaving him. But nothing compared to being torn apart from my very best girlfriend, and only true friend to this day, 30 yrs later. But that's another blog.
I dated sporadically when I first moved to FL. The boys weren't the same. Until the summer of 1980. That's when I met a pro baseball player named Shep. He was a pitcher and if I told you his real name, you can still look up his stats. Shep was from New Hampshire originally. He was handsome in a rugged way; perpetually tanned from summers in the sun, tall--like 6'4, and hard bodied from constant exercise, not the way players use steroids now. He was slow to smile, but his green eyes would meet mine from the bullpen with a wink that said a million words. We corresponded for over 7 years, and I won't bore you with all the letters he sent, but I do feel compelled to share just a few lines he wrote that still get to me just like they did the day I first read them:
" The road to Love is Long, but together our love is strong..." March 1981
"Do you miss me, baby? I miss you. I think you were made for me. What do you think? M y heart's full of love and passion for you. Amo Usted.." May 1981
A goofy card with a monkey hanging in a tree, the front beginning with "I'm not pretty..." with the inside inscribed, "but I'm faithful."
Oh, how I'd love to share all the letters and cards with you! Shep was one of the dearest loves of my young life. On a side note, he did find me 10 years later, right after I got divorced. I met him again at my Aunt and Uncle's while my Mom and I were visiting. When I had gone inside the house for something, he asked my family for my hand in marriage. Its with much regret that it didn't work out.
And finally ( Thank God, right?), there was Shaun. We honestly thought we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. He bought me a "Promise Ring" with two tiny little diamonds and we swore we'd never part. He was also the most beautiful, expressive, writer I have ever been blessed to read and am still overwhelmed at the heart-felt depth of his words. Not only did he write me notes and letters that filled me with a love I've never felt since, he also penned poems and prose about our love and our future together that filled my heart to overflowing with belief and conviction that he spoke the Truth of God's Divine Intervention. Here are just a few lines from a couple cards he'd given me. They don't do him justice, but here they are, just the same:
"Remember to always hold on to our dream like we hold on to each other...Eventually we'll be able to do both at the same time...and never have to worry about letting each other go of either one of us again...Thank you for sharing the best times of my life...then and now...and those to come. I love you so much..."
One more and then I promise to stop before y'all throw up:
"I love you, Babe...and I hope God sees it that I should keep doing so...should keep feeling your pleasures and mine...for my greatest pleasure is loving you!"
There have been others. Some not quite believable, others so cheesy, they took the magic away from what might have been something good. And the advent of the computer has made it far too easy to send emails or whatever, instead of taking to time to pick up a pen and write something, ANYTHING, to someone you find special. Doesn't take a great writer to say, " I'm thinking of you today..."
Take a chance. I dare you. You never know what you might receive!
