Honesty and Trust Revisited

I am cynical. After reading all the responses to the last post, I realize that somewhere in this...unexpected journey through the labyrinth of romance, I forgot what was waiting for me in the center: pure, unconditional love. I got lost in the mind games and the promises that were never kept and...stopped believing. Like a child who discovers who Santa Claus is, there seems to be a certain innocence that's lost...But from the messages I've read, the belief in love (and Santa) isn't lost.

A Florida mother of two kids (ages 20 and 14 respectively) wrote that she had married a man who had lied to her throughout their marriage, then she survived their divorce that could have made her curse Cupid and his stupid Arrow for the rest of her life, but she didn't. She kept on loving. She made some mistakes. And she learned about herself, about the choices she'd made. Most importantly, she didn't lose the belief that when there's love, trust and honesty are a given. She's a very brave woman. She's also engaged.

There were several emails regarding truth and online dating. I agree with everyone. To borrow an overused, yet beloved quote, cyber-dating "is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." I've known men and women actually have a complete "relationship" over the phone and/or online: A starry-eyed beginning, comfortable middle when you might admit you're still kinda going out with ____, but its really over, to a screaming, tearful end when______ answers the phone. One of the better dating sites states that if a member corresponds with 100 potential mates, 50% of the time, your future partner is in the Top 10 and 17% of the time, the first person on your list you'll end up dating. Not marrying...DATING!! Do you know it would take @ 17 hrs to correspond (that's means writing more than a couple of lines and forwarding it) with 100 people? A beloved friend of mine put it best: " Whoever is dishonest with very little will be dishonest with very much". A wise woman indeed. She never ceases to amaze me.

So, I will remember what my friends and readers have taught me; love is not lost...nor am I. The gift that awaits in the center of the labyrinth is mine, as long as my faith remains strong. I've got to stop being cynical, blaming the mind games and empty promises, because the space I give them is far too valuable. And as for those who chose lies over honesty--chew on this for a while:

"I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."
                                                                               --Friedrich Nietzsche