Menopause. A milestone of sorts. Childbearing years are over. No more feminine products for you any more! Yay!!!
Our grandmothers called menopause "The Change", which, in retrospect, is a more accurate description than the medical term used to identify the cessation of menses. Even "The Change" is a tidy euphemism for the uncontrollable mess those of us experience in our early onset of the "M" , No matter who tells you what to expect, even as you watch a woman fanning themselves with anything, including the report due on the boss' desk in 5 min., you still don't have the slightest idea of what you're in for. The hot flashes were the first indication that I was in trouble. It was Christmas, temperature hovering in the around 25 degrees. My family was gathered around the fire place, sipping potent egg nog when IT hit--one minute, I was sitting comfortably, enjoying the familiar chatter of my kin when IT hit. Within seconds, I was drenched, sweat streaming from every pore on my body, especially my head and face; hair styling products and makeup melted into my lap. I rushed outside, praying the slap of frigid weather would instantly stop the hot flash. But, alas, it didn't...the sweat just froze. Now I understand the other symptoms that accompany The Change; mood swings, insomnia, diminishing libido and a tendency to gain weight. Its all based on hot flashes. They would bring any man to his knees, pleading that death is better that all this Change business.
There is one advantage to menopause; mood swings. Now you can tell people how you really feel about them. Its open season!! And if
one of the recipients whispers something about your strange behavior, there's only one answer; "She's going through The Change".
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